


Oops

by Kaoru_chibimaster



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AkuRoku Day, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Banter, Bickering, Final Fantasy characters and settings not typically included in KH, Humor, M/M, low fantasy setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoru_chibimaster/pseuds/Kaoru_chibimaster
Summary: So maybe their plan to break into the castle in Radiant Garden fell apart rather quickly, and maybe they weren't cut out for these sorts of jobs, but hey who knows. Maybe they could turn this whole mess around, right?...Right?
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Oops

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to my [2015 akuroku day fic](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11445358/1/Whoops). That thing’s been on my mind for ages and I just had to write something else for it. This can be read as a standalone though.

“Okay, boys!”

Oh great.

“I know we’ve been hurting for cash lately—”

“Uh, boss?” a fellow thief, Blank, raised his hand, shoulders hunched at the seething look Baku gave him for interrupting. He soldiered on regardless. “We’re more than just hurting. The ship’s practically falling apart and we’ve been grounded for two weeks.”

“—Yes, I know that! I was there! But I have a sol—”

“This is what we get for using an airship,” Locke, the self-proclaimed “treasure hunter”, pitched in, picking at his teeth as he slumped in his seat. It was one of the airship’s benches, in fact, and the poor thing creaked and groaned under his weight as if it too was ready to give up.

“Airships are so old fashioned. Can’t we buy a gummiship and be done with it?” Rikku, a sphere-hunter with sticky fingers, groaned. As if in competition with her, which, hell, maybe he was, her older brother groaned even louder and flopped onto the deck.

“—if you dingbats would stop trying to talk over me—”

Axel raised his hand next, and Roxas couldn’t help covering his face, hoping he would sink into the floor. This “meeting” was already enough of a dumpster fire without his boyfriend throwing salt onto it.

“While we’re having this meeting boss, can I just add that some folks around here need to learn how to wash their hands after they drop their logs. I’m not naming names, _Cinna_ , but I just want to bring awareness to this.”

Please stop.

“I do wash my hands, you overgrown beetroot!”

“Since we’re on that topic, can you bunch of idiots learn how to clean up after yourselves?” Rikku continued. Next to her, her partners Paine and Yuna nodded in agreement. “This place is like a pig’s sty!”

“Doesn’t seem so bad to me,” Locke shrugged.

Whatever this “meeting” was supposed to be, it quickly devolved into bickering and petty catfighting, predictably enough. Roxas peeked up at Axel—who was, of course, watching his handiwork with a twisted, gleeful grin—before shucking his jacket up over his head and praying he’d sink into the floorboards.

It’d been like this for the past year now. The Tantalus Thieves Guild had hit one hell of a plateau in terms of incoming cash flow, and in today’s economy that wasn’t exactly a good thing. They had just enough jobs coming through to not outright _starve_ , but even those doing honest work were struggling and no one really had munny to spare. Jobs were kept small because their guild was too exposed to risk going after high-end targets, but sooner or later they would have to start taking desperate measures if they wanted to make sure they didn’t start eating each other at this rate.

Though, considering how quick everyone was to snap at each other, they might just do that anyway.

“—Look all I’m trying to say is that you guys live like frogs in the mud—”

“—If that’s a problem for you, go make your own thieves guild—”

“—I still don’t see why I had to be brought into this. I _do_ wash my hands—”

“—and is it too much to expect you bunch of dogs to buy your own jerky instead of swiping mine—”

“—did someone say frogs? Now Quina hungry—”

Baku, for his part, had flushed from a light pink to a deep scarlet, gritting his teeth as veins popped on his forehead. Roxas covered his ears in preparation for the explosion.

“ _SHUT! UP!_ ”

There it was.

“One more peep out of any of you, and _I’ll introduce you to the pointy end of my sword!_ ”

“Huh?” Every head turned to see Zidane, their one previously missing member, climbing up the ladder. He hopped silently onto the deck, dusting off his clothes and rearranging his collar in a poor attempt to hide the evidence of where he’d been this whole time, peering around at every face at their gathering in hopes that someone would fill him in on why they were being threatened with sharp weapons.

“What’d I miss?” His tail was swishing though, a sign of amusement, so he likely figured out that he hadn’t really missed anything important. Mostly because his guildmates were too busy acting like toddlers.

Honestly, Roxas was a bit jealous. He wished he’d snuck off somewhere to make out with Axel instead of being stuck here watching his fellows compete over who could make an ass of themselves the most.

“Welcome to work, buddy. Guess you didn’t want to bring her with you, huh?” Blank smirked, nodding at the splotch of red creeping out from under Zidane’s poorly adjusted collar.

“Ha! She’d think me a psycho just for being associated with you idiots.”

“ _If you’re both done_ ,” Baku cut in, practically growling. “I’d like to get this meeting started.”

Zidane raised his hands in surrender and took a seat without a fuss. Probably for the best, before Baku suffered a hernia from blowing a gasket. Instead, he cleared his throat and started from the beginning.

“Okay, boys. I know we’ve been strapped for cash lately, but considering the circumstances and the current world climate, I don’t see our situation improving any time soon at the rate we’re going.”

This time it was Roxas raising his hand. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, and he wasn’t sure what to think about that.

“You want us to take on more high-end jobs, don’t you?” he asked. Around him, his fellows buzzed quietly and contemplated over this revelation. They’d been hurting for munny just as much as anyone else, and while big time jobs were an attractive gamble, the stakes for losing were much higher than they were accustomed to.

“Right you are, Roxas! More than just high-end, in fact I have several very prolific jobs set up for each of you that I feel work best for your individual talents! Now where’s that… Uh. Ruby! Bring me the rock!”

Ruby, who’d been applying her lipstick, with a broken mirror shard in hand to aid her efforts, jumped in fright at the sudden, loud boom of Baku’s voice calling her name, mirror shard flung through the air until it landed in Brother’s foot and he howled in pain.

“Yes boss! O’course boss!” Ruby squeaked in her distinctive accent, digging through her bag of “girly things” until she pulled out a shining blue orb not much larger than a melon. A Seer’s Stone. The guild had been in awe when Ruby had returned with it. More than awe, they’d been astounded that she’d actually managed to pilfer one. It was the sort of thing one might’ve found in the Magic Kingdom if they’d been lucky enough to have been born a few centuries prior. Highly illegal and considered a huge invasion of privacy, Seer’s Stones had been outlawed around two-hundred years ago and every stone King Mickey’s ancestor could get his mousy hands on was destroyed. Not the sort of thing an honest person would have lying around, but then when were thieves’ guilds known for housing upstanding citizens?

“Thank you, m’dear,” Baku smiled, taking the stone from Ruby and staring at it for a moment, poking it in not-so-discreet confusion.

“Boss set it down and think what he want to see,” Quina supplied rather helpfully. Their quip was followed by a chorus of quiet giggles as Baku set the stone down and thanked them with a miffed grimace.

There was a small thunk as it was rested on the stack of wooden crates Baku had wrangled together for a makeshift podium, and as he stood over it with twitching, anxious fingers and a concentrated knit in his brow, the Seer’s Stone started to glow a soft azure.

“Check that out,” Axel mumbled, leaning forward in his seat. Roxas had mirrored the posture, nodding absently as he watched images start to project from the stone. Magic in and of itself was so mundane in their world that it was an afterthought in most situations, but the unfortunate side effect of this was that truly impressive spells and artifacts gradually became lost to the ages, and difficult to find as a result. Sure, Axel, for example, could snap his fingers and a little flame would appear. But what help was that against a pistol? He couldn’t really do more with it, and gummi technology had become so convenient that he never had to try and improve. It was like that for just about everyone.

Seeing something like this, a Seer’s Stone that was infused with magic stronger than anything the entire guild could accomplish combined, and powered by a spell long enough to fill a tome twice over, was like walking on clouds and touching the hands of the gods. There was nothing quite like this experience, and Roxas knew this meant that Baku was serious. Their situation had reached a point that they were desperate enough to nab a Seer Stone, which risked them getting arrested before they even had a chance to go out and do the jobs they were trying to See.

Hopefully no one else was out in these woods with them, lurking in the darkness of night, watching mystical blue light stream from their ship deck.

“I’ve got my eye on a number of different targets,” Baku continued. The images the stone projected shifted through those targets as if in a slideshow. One by one, their missions revealed themselves. The foyer of Alexandria castle, the gardens of Disney Castle, the sand dunes surrounding Castle Figaro, the tightknit streets of Archades, the ringing bells of Bevelle, the gleaming front gates of Radiant Garden. All beautiful locations, whispering sweet promises of wealth in one’s ear.

All capable of devouring one whole if they weren’t careful. These would not be easy jobs.

“What I’m going to do is assign these missions to you all in small groups. I don’t want too much attention brought to anyone, and I trust you idiots to _not_ be idiots on these missions. You’re experienced thieves, men! Put in your best work! Now, to start with: Zidane and Blank! You’re both going to be headed to Alexandria castle…”

Roxas tuned Baku’s mission breakdown out as he let this new information settle. They were really going for the Big Leagues with these new missions. Their targets weren’t just any old noble sitting fat on a plot of land that contributed only the bare minimum to society. They were going after kings, queens, emperors, high priests… They could be killed on these missions if they weren’t careful, never mind incarcerated.

“Holy shit, Axel,” Roxas breathed quietly, knowing Axel could hear him. He must’ve had his attention from the way Axel leaned closer.

“I thought I was past the crazy stunts after I left home.” Roxas’ parents were still in the thick of whatever mess Roxas had left behind when he joined Tantalus, and he didn’t envy them one bit. Maybe he wasn’t living the most virtuous of lives, but he was comfortable and well-fed. He was happy.

One mistake on his next mission and that could be taken away in the blink of an eye.

“Then we don’t make a mistake. Think about it, Rox. We do this job, and we’ll be sitting pretty for the rest of our lives,” Axel murmured back. It was such a simple thing to say, but Roxas knew it’d be more complicated than that. Nothing was ever that easy.

“—the next mission, a heist in King Ansem’s coffers, is being assigned to only two of our members. It’ll be a difficult job, and the more of you there are, the more chances we’ll lose a brother. I’m not letting that happen, so…” Baku looked directly at Roxas and Axel then, expression stony as he addressed them. “You two do your damnest not to get caught. Ansem’s grown distrustful and vindictive in his old age and he’s become the type of man to shoot first and ask questions never. His castle layout is a maze and his guards hit like a comet spell in a tin foil house, so you two are gonna have to be stealthy. Dress in black and go in the night. Do _not_ let on what guild you hail from.”

With that, Baku moved on to his next assignment, looking to the Gullwings as the Seer’s Stone shifted to the image of Bevelle once more. Roxas tuned the conversation out again, finding it unnecessary to focus on Baku any longer.

They had their orders.

“You ready for this?” Axel asked him. He’d grabbed Roxas’ hand before Roxas had even noticed, and he looked down at their entwined fingers, squeezing lightly in hopes that he’d find his nerve.

“Yeah. A trip to Radiant Garden. It’ll be fun.”

‘Famous Last Words’, the saying went.

-o-o-o-o-

“Axel.”

“Roxas.”

“This is not fun.”

Wiping the muck from his chin, Axel glanced back to send a sour look Roxas’ way as he dragged himself along the piping.

‘Piping’.

Roxas wasn’t going to call it what it really was. He didn’t want to think about it.

“Sorry you’re so uncomfortable, Your Highness. Want me to get you a wet towel?”

“No, I want you to move faster before my fucking lungs collapse from the stench,” Roxas snapped. It already felt like he was breathing through someone else’s asshole. He didn’t need Axel’s lip on top of it.

“Yeah, well, that’d be easier if you’d shut up for a sec,” Axel tossed back. Despite his foul tone, he did at least start shimmying faster. Granted, he probably wanted to stop scooting through shit as quickly as humanly possible too…

They’d had the castle layout memorized. More than memorized. Roxas could probably walk through those halls backwards and blindfolded now, and he was willing to bet Axel could do the same. They’d spent the entire trip there prepping in every way they could. Axel had gotten in touch with a former kingdom pilot turned mercenary, Xigbar, in need of a gummiship, and though it’d been a while since they’d all spoken, Xigbar had graciously agreed. Roxas was certain he’d only done so because he wanted something out of it, but Axel was aware enough of that without his input. Apparently Xigbar was still a better alternative.

They’d formulated escape routes, worked out plan Bs and Cs and even Ds, mapped out the straightest route to the treasury and decked themselves out in the lightest gear they possibly could. Weapons were, unfortunately, left behind. Ansem’s castle had a building wide detection spell specifically designed to alert the guards if there was foreign weaponry involved.

Of course, the stupid thing was so hyper-specialized that it didn’t detect intrusions in general, so it was both a blessing and a curse.

Ah well. No need for weapons as long as they didn’t get caught.

“Here. Up this corner,” Axel said, prompting Roxas to break out of his reverie and squint ahead. It was still pitch black as the devil’s anus anywhere beyond Axel’s tiny magic flame, but Roxas just barely managed to make out a junction up ahead. One veered entirely to the right, the one he and Axel needed, and Roxas’ was quick to nudge Axel forward with a prodding finger to his buttcheek.

In his defense, he’d been aiming for Axel’s thigh.

“Ow, jackass.”

“Quit being such a baby. Move it.”

Of course, it wasn’t them if they didn’t interject every mission with their old married couple routine. Specifically the bickering.

“Get your finger out my ass and I will!”

“That wasn’t what you said last night.” A mature response if there ever was one.

“Yeah, it was what your mom said the night before.”

Luckily…or unluckily (?), Axel had just about the same level of maturity as Roxas.

Truly, they were made for each other.

“Don’t be rude to my mom, dickbag, she wouldn’t look twice at you.” She never looked twice at anyone that wasn’t Roxas’ dad. A faithful lady, she was. Maybe that was why she stayed home, even after her son left to go live on the streets.

He wondered what she’d think of him now…

“Yet her son looks at me every day. What does that say about him, I wonder?” Axel snorted, kicking at a grate that they’d learned, thanks to that wonderful Seer’s Stone, was a bit weak with age and wouldn’t stand up to much force. It would lead to the Waterway, allowing Axel and Roxas to enter the castle properly through the dungeon. Thankfully, the water there was cleaner, and they could at least splash around in it for a bit until they were certain they wouldn’t get caught for their stench alone.

This all occurred in the back of Roxas’ mind. At the forefront, he was puzzling over what sounded like a bout of self-doubt.

From Axel? Of all people?

Axel, the man who picked dirty, grimy, sixteen-year-old Roxas off the streets and gave him a pair of warm arms and a place to call home. Axel, who’d accepted Roxas despite the unscrupulous things he’d done to ensure his next meal, who’d lied and stolen and slept around and even killed for a quick buck. All in the span of one year. Who knew what ditch Roxas would’ve ended up in if Axel hadn’t found him? His parents wouldn’t have, not after he’d slowly pulled back from contact until the gummiphone calls had stopped entirely. There was no one else for Roxas; no one else he trusted, no one else he cared for.

What Axel had said had sounded like a joke, but Roxas knew it wasn’t. Not really. He knew that tone because he heard it in his head every day. Wondering what the hell Axel saw in him.

“It says he’s got good taste,” Roxas responded quietly. Axel paused for a moment, having started to slip through the opening he’d kicked through the grate. He didn’t look at Roxas, but there was something about his silence… Something meaningful.

“…If he says so,” Axel mumbled before sliding into the gap entirely, Roxas on his heels.

Axel, who was plagued with just as dirty a past, if not more so, never held very high confidence in himself. But clearly he just wasn’t seeing what Roxas was. And hell, after Baku had given him his second chance, others must have seen it too.

“Also, calling someone a dickbag is rude, you cockwallet.”

Somewhere deep down. Deep, _deep_ down.

“What the fuck is a cockwa—”

“Shh!”

Roxas still sent Axel a glare for the unnecessary, and quite frankly nonsensical, insult, but he clamped his mouth shut regardless. They were at the door leading directly into the Waterway now.

And it was open.

Cautiously, silently, Axel stepped through the entrance and peered around, Roxas on his heels as he scanned the area as well. It was just as dark as the sewers had been, and Axel had to keep his hand cupped around the flame in his palm lest he alert whoever else might’ve been in there with them, so both were left relatively blind. It was left to their ears then. Roxas strained his as he listened for any strange noises. Any footsteps or splashes or voices that might’ve been out of place beyond the faint roar of the Rising Falls.

…Nothing.

Not a peep.

“I think we’re alone in here. Maybe someone left it open?” It was a little _too_ convenient, but if that someone had just made an honest mistake then they’d saved Roxas the trouble of having to pick the lock. The damn thing was magical and that required intricate work.

“Could’ve been maintenance,” Axel shrugged, dropping his free hand so that his magical flame lit the chamber up. It was open and empty, composed of only bleak, gray walls and a channel of water that ran along the floor. Roxas was quick to step into it, finding it only ankle deep. It was enough though.

Besides, as crazy as he might’ve looked rolling around in a shallow water channel under Hollow Bastion, Axel was the only other one there (hopefully) and he’d have to do the same.

Of course, he still took the opportunity to poke fun at Roxas.

“You’re a regular merman, Roxas. Planning on growing fins and moving to Atlantica?”

“Oh absolutely,” Roxas replied without missing a beat. “I was gonna charm one of the princesses into marrying me and live the rest of my life in splendor.”

“Thought you weren’t down for the smell of fish.”

“Gross!” Roxas grimaced, trying and failing to hide the morbid amusement he felt at that joke as he splashed water at Axel. “Anyway, I’m not down for the smell of shit either. Get in here and wash off already.”

“Sheesh. With as much noise as we’re making, you’d think we’d have been caught already,” Axel sighed. Nevertheless, he did as Roxas said and found his own spot in the channel to scrub off in. They didn’t have any soap so just the water would have to do, but already it helped immensely. Now Roxas wasn’t _smeared_ in anything.

Gods. Yuck.

Roxas just…hoped this wasn’t anyone’s drinking water.

“If anyone heard us,” Roxas huffed, pulling himself out of the now murky water and wringing his clothes out. “They’d be on our asses already. We’re probably alone down here.”

“Good, then let’s move.”

They did more than just move. They were hightailing it through the Waterway, eyes peeled in case they were being faked out and there really was someone down there. Besides, they had a plan to set in motion and loitering around under the castle wasn’t going to do them any favors. They’d been prepared for the puzzle traps that made up the Waterway, and quite frankly a good chunk of the castle thanks to Ansem’s paranoid nature, and had memorized everything to a T. The pattern in which gates opened, which switches paired with which lifts and…even which bubbles took them where. Roxas had no clue _why_ there were bubbles, but at least one never had to stay in them too long. It wouldn’t do to drown before they even cleared the base level.

Thankfully, their efforts weren’t wasted. It was in record time that they skidded to a stop in front of a crumbled wall. The one they needed, in fact. The one that led right into the dungeon. At a glance, it was only a small room with nothing of note, but Roxas knew from the castle layout that beneath it lie a larger cavern that only one with Ansem’s computer codes could enter—the one non-magic way to operate a lift—but there was nothing down there of worth and neither thief was particularly concerned with exploring.

After all, they didn’t have much time left.

The guard patrol this time of day was switching shifts, which meant that there would be a number of gaps in security throughout numerous points in the castle. They weren’t exactly large gaps either, and they gave Axel and Roxas an incredibly limited amount of time with which to operate. Once they stepped on that lift, they’d be at the mercy of Hollow Bastion’s halls.

“Ready?” Axel asked. Roxas nodded without a second though. The munny. He just had to think about the munny. They were risking a lot, but the reward was more than worth it.

If Baku didn’t take the majority of it to repair his clunky airship with, that was.

“C’mon,” Roxas sighed, mood tanking at the thought. Gods, that was the last thing they needed.

Maybe they ought to just run off with the loot when they were done.

“Alright,” Axel started, going through the plan again as he paced the surface of the lift. It was clearly for his own benefit, as both of them knew the plan like the back of their hands, but Roxas let him talk. It was more soothing than tense silence. “So, the guards won’t be covering the base level lift entrances we’re heading through for the next three minutes. And once someone’s on patrol again, we’ll have about a minute of their back turned to act as well. That’s a last resort, though. There’d be a possibility of hearing us then, and by then we’d be behind schedule anyway.”

The lift came to a stop in the upper level of the Waterway, leading to out into the lift stop. It was a part of the castle not open to the general public, and these lifts were likely used for, as Axel said, maintenance, which made it the perfect spot to sneak in through. Unfortunately, the guards knew that too, so it wasn’t as if they’d be home free. If they didn’t stick to that schedule, they’d be more than just toast.

“So… This lift will take us to the upper level and then we’ll be hopping a ride to the lower floors. We’ll have to dodge a few guards to get to the vault, and even then the only way we’ll get someone away from it is with a distraction.”

Roxas had a few things in mind. The guards were a little too savvy to fall for random noises, and instead of investigating, they would likely call for backup and alert the rest of the castle to an intrusion. They had to make it believable…

Hey, wait…

“Axel, maybe there _was_ a maintenance person who went down to the Waterway,” Roxas said, pausing for a moment as the idea occurred to him. Axel nudged him forward, reminding him that they had no time to stop, and he explained his idea as they headed into the lift stop.

“You think the guards might move if we pretend they got hurt or need help?” he continued. “They don’t have to see us, but if we make enough of a racket they probably won’t pay us too much mind.”

Rubbing his chin, Axel thought about it for a moment. Roxas set to work overriding the switches and setting their course for the upper level, certain that his idea held merit.

There wasn’t much else they could do without getting themselves caught, after all.

“Alright. I can work with that. I’ll make the ruckus and then we can run for it while the guards are flipping shits. Easy enough,” Axel nodded. Right, then. This was it. All they had to do was wait for the lift to reach them.

The moment they set foot on it, their plan would be set in motion.

-o-o-o-o-

It went…not so well.

It wasn’t too much of a disaster _at first_. Someone had noticed the switches on the castles lower levels being tampered with and Axel and Roxas had to scramble into the vault, leaving the guards on high alert. They probably didn’t know for sure that someone was already in the vault, at least not at that moment, considering that no one had come barging in with weapons brandished, which at least gave the pair the freedom to start filling their bag with amber jewels and large munny coins and even rare crystals. The sorts of riches one dreamed about from their bed as a child. The sorts of riches one was lucky to _see_ , let alone touch.

They shoveled as much of it as they could into their bag. Thankfully, it was quite spacious.

“Alright, I think that does it,” Axel said as he zipped the bag shut, slinging it over his shoulder and looking around.

“We barely even made a dent in it,” Roxas mumbled, staring in awe at the large golden piles that still remained. They’d basically stolen what amounted to Ansem’s pocket-change, and it was still likely to buy them their own island and a fleet of gummiships.

Truly there was such a thing as too rich.

“Yeah, well. Now we know where our taxes have been going, I guess.”

“We don’t pay taxes.”

“Tough shit for Ansem, let’s go.”

Axel paused at the vault door for a moment, listening. Roxas wondered if there were any guards out there waiting for them. There was no other way out of the vault than that door, so all their work would’ve been for naught if it turned out they had that sort of misfortune.

Thankfully, all seemed quiet as Axel nodded his head at the door and started tiptoeing forward.

An alarm blared.

Wide-eyed and flabbergasted, the two of them frantically looked around for what could’ve been the source when something flashed across Roxas’ vision. He looked down to find what looked like a golden, shining wire; a trap made of pure magic and invisible to the untrained eye until tripped. Unfortunately for Roxas and Axel, neither of them had a trained eye for anything beyond the physical.

“Shit, shit, shit! Let’s move!” Axel shouted, throwing caution in the wind as he bounded for the door. Roxas watched as it opened without their input before his gaze fell on three pairs of feet beneath it.

“We’ve got company!”

Axel took the warning without even a moment’s hesitation, kicking at a small pile of munny and watching the heavy orbs skid across the floor until they knocked into the guards’ shins. It wasn’t the best distraction they could’ve come up with, but the minor disorientation was just enough for both men to push their way past their greeting party.

They weren’t the most discreet about their escape either. Their feet stomped heavily over the hard flooring as they ran, breaths loud and labored, and Roxas was sure they were leaving a trail of water droplets for the guards to follow. They even jingled when they ran, thanks to the loot they’d stolen.

Because of course they did.

“Where’re we going?” Roxas struggled to ask over the burning in his lungs. They were seriously booking it and even he couldn’t keep up a full-on sprint for too long. 

“Air ducts!”

It was a split-second decision that only really worked because Axel was ridiculously tall enough to hop on one of the decorative tables lining the hall and jump just high enough to get his fingers through a grate. Much smaller and far more uncomfortable looking, but it’d have to do. More guards, on top of the three they’d pushed through, were gaining on them and they didn’t have the time for alternatives.

The airducts it was.

Axel pulled himself through first, leaving just enough of his legs hanging out for Roxas to grab. It made it more of a chore to pull them both through, even with Roxas attempting to assist with his meager footing on the wall, but Axel just barely managed right as a pair of fingers swiped at Roxas’ pants. Thankfully, they hadn’t been able to hold a grip. This was a temporary solution though. Sooner or later, the guards would be blocking all possible exits these ducts led to.

“We’ve gotta get out of here,” Roxas panted, arms shaking as the adrenaline pumped through his veins in time with his erratic heartbeat. Yeah, he was stating the obvious at this point, but he didn’t know what else to say. He wasn’t even sure why he needed to say anything, but the impulse hit him before he could deny it.

“I know. C’mon,” Axel responded, starting his shuffle forward. Roxas was immediately on his heels, not taking the chance on letting any guards attempt to grab him again while he was still near the opening.

Thankfully, he could count on none of them following the pair into the air ducts. Radiant Garden guards were all practically giant walls of meat. It was a miracle that Axel and Roxas managed to push past them at all.

“Know where we’re going?” Roxas asked. He tried to create a mental map of where they currently were, but he couldn’t quite pull up an image through his frazzled thoughts. All he could say for sure was that they were still somewhere near the vault, and that would quickly change once they started making turns.

“Yeah, I think…”

“You think?” Well that was just dandy. Now they were definitely going to get caught. “Axel we need to get the hell out of here before Ansem feeds us to his sentries. You need to _know_ , not _think_.”

“Well what do you expect from me?! This isn’t exactly ‘according to plan’. _Any_ of them!”

Well, okay.

It was kinda on them for not planning for a possible escape through the airducts.

Damn. The one thing they missed.

“Okay, well do you have a map of the castle, just in case?”

“Yeah, but the map doesn’t include airducts.”

“This just gets better and better,” Roxas sighed, feeling a strong urge to rub at his temples as a headache started to form. It’d do no good but to slow him down, but he _wanted to_.

“Make an educated guess?” he tried.

“ _You_ make an educated guess. Why do I have to do all the thinking?”

“Because you’re going first!”

Axel was already weaving his way thought twists and turns and Roxas followed without a thought. Any momentum was better than none, even if it meant they were now hopelessly lost.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t throw out some suggestions! I’m just going wherever!” Axel argued a little too loudly. Roxas hoped no one was following the sounds of their voices.

“Going wherever was what tripped the alarm, so maybe you should stop that!”

“Fine, then you go first and try to get us out of here, since you’re so fuckin’ perfect!”

“Maybe I will!” With that, Roxas nudged Axel out of the way and took the bag of loot from him, slinging it over his own shoulders after he’d slid past him. It’d been a tight squeeze, but both of them were a couple of walking noodles so it wasn’t as if they were facing a hopeless feat.

Of course, because Roxas just so happened to be the luckiest guy in the world, the moment he started moving forward he happened to lean his weight on a particularly weak grate.

The stupid thing gave so easily it might as well have been a slice of bologna.

“Roxas!” Axel’s voice followed him as he tumbled out of the airduct, landing on what felt like carpet. Not that it stopped him from being in pain entirely, and he still groaned as numerous aches made themselves known to him when he stood, but it likely saved him a few bruises. The thing that was most hurt was really his pride as he looked back up at Axel, watching his expression shift out of worry and into amusement once he was sure Roxas was okay.

Lucky for Axel, Roxas’ graceful fall was enough of an example to him that he knew to drop feet first. He landed with actual grace after Roxas had stumbled out of the way, silent as a cat when his feet hit the carpet.

Roxas wasn’t jealous or anything. Of course not.

“Show off.” Okay, maybe a little.

“Oh, I know I’m amazing. You don’t have to tell me,” Axel smirked, brushing imaginary dust off his shoulders, despite the fact that he was still wet and dirt was probably clinging to him with the force of an angry toddler’s grubby finger’s around his mother’s leg. Roxas was not amused.

“Shut up. Fuck you. Hold the bag,” he grumbled, tossing the bag back at Axel. If Mr. Amazing over there had the energy to gloat, then he had more than enough energy to hold the loot.

“Well if you’re gonna fuck me, at least wait until we’re in our own room. Speaking of… Whose room _is_ this?” Axel asked, looking around their extravagant surroundings. Sure, the majority of the castle was layered with indulgence upon indulgence, but this one seemed particularly profligate. Everything was white. Pure, blinding white. The carpet, the sheer curtains, the desk and the papers covered in doodles littered upon it, the array of stuffed animals, the wallpaper, the wardrobe, the chairs and the sofa and even the bed in all its entirety were gleaming white. It was as if Roxas and Axel had stepped into the realm of the gods after their heavenly housekeeper swept the gold from the clouds.

Even the other people standing in the room, watching the two thieves with owlish expressions and pale faces, were dressed in white. The one in the middle, the young girl that Roxas recognized from having seen on tv, was especially suited to it. Skin like porcelain and hair like morning sunlight, she’d once been described as. Frankly, all Roxas saw was a gangly, blonde teenage girl standing in the middle of her own room, looking as if her soul had just been sucked out of her mouth. She also just so happened to be the most important person in that room. Probably one of the most important people in the entire kingdom.

Which was…not good.

Roxas blinked. Axel blinked.

The princess blinked back.

And then the screaming started.

…Oops.


End file.
